50+ Flirty, Romantic, and Sexy Questions to Ask Your Partner

When it comes to relationships, the most important aspect is communication. Not just communicating feelings and emotions about certain situations, but communicating about all things, from sex, values, and thoughts about the future, to the facts about your past that make you who you are. Communication, above all else, is the foundation of a happy and healthy relationship. It may sound cliché, but it’s still the absolute truth, according to sex and relationship experts.
When people hear the word “communicating,” they tend to picture sitting down with their partner and having an intimate heart-to-heart, but that doesn’t always have to be the set-up or tone, nor does the environment have to be the bedroom. Whether you’re just hanging out on the couch, texting, video chatting, or any of the other dozens of mediums you use to communicate, there’s always an opportunity to ask your partner questions that will strengthen your bond and maybe even give you the chance to learn something about each other that you may not have known before.
“Talking about what you want is just the start,” says Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., sexologist, relationship expert, and We-Vibe sex expert. “If you dig a little deeper and talk about your fantasies, desires, fears, vulnerabilities, concerns, emotions, and more, you’ll develop a deeper understanding of one another — which leads to a more meaningful connection and hotter, more fulfilling sex.”
As O’Reilly explains, the questions you ask your partner should extend past just sex talk, and include consent, likes, dislikes, and sexual boundaries.
“Discuss emotional safety, including what it means to you and how you can cultivate it together,” says O’Reilly. “And talk about what sex means to you — what are the physical, erotic, emotional, practical, relational, and/or spiritual values and benefits you attach to sex?”
While some of these questions might make both you and your partner (or new match, hookup, or FWB) feel extra vulnerable, it’s a feeling that should be embraced and respected. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a big step in any relationship — romantic or platonic. It’s a sign of trust (and intimacy!) to be able to be so candid with another person. (See: How to Build Intimacy with Your Partner)
Because asking questions is a great way to get communication rolling, here are more than 50 of them to get you and your partner started.
If you finish this list of questions to ask a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner and want more, consider purchasing a question prompt game — such as We’re Not Really Strangers (Buy It, $30, urbanoutfitters.com) or The Skin Deep {THE AND} Card Game for Couples or for Dating (Buy It, $25, theskindeep.com) — that will dole out additional creative questions and conversation starters.
