LeCanadian

Top Menu

  • Login
  • Archives
  • Les Actualités
  • Advertising
  • Sexy Pages
  • Contact Us

Main Menu

  • Home
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Foodie
  • Headline
  • Health
  • Editorials
  • Lifestyle
  • Sports
  • UFO · Exopolitics
  • City
  • Sexuality
  • Dating
  • Login
  • Archives
  • Les Actualités
  • Advertising
  • Sexy Pages
  • Contact Us

logo

Header Banner

LeCanadian

  • Home
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Foodie
  • Headline
  • Health
  • Editorials
  • Lifestyle
  • Sports
  • UFO · Exopolitics
  • City
  • Sexuality
  • Dating
  • How Canadians can access online casinos through mobile phones

  • Comment gérer un retard de vol ?

  • 5 ways sudoku boosts brain health

  • 10 tips to successfully market your law firm

  • 7 Amazing Gifts for Kids Who Like to Cook

Sexuality
Home›Sexuality›What’s the Difference Between a Fantasy, Kink, and Fetish?

What’s the Difference Between a Fantasy, Kink, and Fetish?

By admin
April 22, 2021
489
0
Share:

Society is finally progressing into a freer idea of what sex can be (🎉). What may have started with 50 Shades of Gray is slowly growing into a larger movement of sexual liberation, pleasure equality, and more accepted exploration into all things sex.

If you’re interested in dipping your toe into the world of kink — or are curious how to label your own sexual interests — it’s natural to want to understand the lingo. After all, you’ll need the right words to describe what you want and like. Not to mention, using correct language is also an important way to reduce the taboo and stigma around sex and create a more sex-positive culture overall.

So, is your interest in rope bondage considered a fantasy or kink? Or is it a fetish? How about your daydreams about having a threesome or experimenting with someone of the same sex? Below, Zachary Zane, sex expert for sexual health and wellness brand Promescent, clears up the difference between a kink vs. fetish vs. fantasy, and what you need to know about exploring your desires.

What Is a Kink?

To understand kink, it helps to understand what “vanilla” sex is. Vanilla sex is pretty much the conventional idea of what constitutes sexual activity, like penis-in-vagina penetration, hand stuff, or oral sex. To be clear, “vanilla” doesn’t mean that you’re a boring lay! You just may not need or want to incorporate kink, which is totally cool.

“A kink is a sexual activity or proclivity that’s deemed a deviation from the social norm,” says Zane. “Anything that falls outside of vanilla sex can be considered a ‘kink’ including role-play, BDSM, choking, and even anal sex.”

Kinks truly can be anything. Sex can go from vanilla to kinky depending on the dirty talk you choose, the way a blowjob is performed, or whatever roles a couple may balance between.

Okay, and What Is a Fetish?

“A fetish is similar to a kink, [but a fetish] is required in order to get aroused. Fetishes also tend to focus more on a specific object, such as lingerie, feet, or even cars,” says Zane. So, a kink becomes a fetish when it is necessary for a person in order to get off. (See: The Safe and Sexy Guide to Foot Stuff)

If this doesn’t jive with the way you’ve heard the word “fetish” used IRL, you’re not imagining it. Research shows that the word “fetish” is often used in everyday language with “a much broader scope than its psychiatric definition,” often referring to stimuli that’s sexually arousing versus required for sexual satisfaction.

Some people theorize that certain people are born with fetishes, others theorize that fetishes are a byproduct of socialization and the perception that something is “bad” or “taboo.” Whether or not there is a true “cause” of fetishes doesn’t matter — what really matters is that people play them out safely and consensually.

Finally, What Is a Fantasy?

A fantasy refers to any mental imagery or thought patterns that are sexually arousing or erotic to someone, according to the Encyclopedia of Evolutionary Psychological Science.

“A fantasy is just that: a fantasy,” says Zane. “It doesn’t mean that it’s something you’ll enjoy in real life. In fact, people often like watching porn or imagining things they wouldn’t want to do in real life.”

Just because someone has a sexual fantasy does not mean they actually want it to happen. Often, it’s simply the idea that gets them off or turns them on. Many fantasies ride on the appeal of how taboo the subject matter is. For example, some folks might fantasize about the idea of having a sordid affair, but would never fathom cheating in their partner in reality.

Some people decide to play out their fantasies by role-playing in scenes, but most often fantasies remain in one’s imagination. And, you know, their browsing history.

Why You Shouldn’t Feel Bad About Your Kinks — and How to Explore Them

“Because we live in a sex-negative society heavily influenced by religious ideologies, a lot of folks feel shame for being aroused by (or wanting to engage in) anything besides vanilla sex,” says Zane. “Often, people think something is wrong with a person or they’re mentally unwell if they like BDSM; this is not true.”

The shame folks feel around their kinks is often due to what is called “kink-shaming.” This happens when someone is made fun of, belittled, or pitied for their sexual interests and/or requirements.

Just because you like a little spanking doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. There’s a consensus among the kink community that all kinks are valid so long as you practice them with consenting parties. (Important reminder: Kids and animals cannot consent.)

Curious how your interests might stack up against others? Sexual wellness brand Future Method dove into Google’s search analytics and found that in 2020, the most searched kinks and/or fetishes were masochism (sexual pleasure from being humiliated, beaten, bound, or made to suffer in some other way), followed by group sex, sadism (sexual pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others), sports gear, and armpits. (Related: The BDSM Guide for Beginners)

There are tons of places to act out your kinks with consenting adults. “We live in the era of dating and hookup apps,” says Zane. “There are many apps specifically designed for kinky individuals. Fetlife is a great example. It’s actually more of a social networking app. Think Facebook, but for kinksters and fetishists.”

When pursuing kink or fulfilling fetishes, it’s important to make sure you’re vetting potential partners. You and your partners should be properly educated on the risks of the activity, and know the safety measures to prevent harm. Because some kinks are inherently more risky than others (erotic asphyxiation versus, say, a foot massage) sometimes you have to go the extra mile to ensure your partner has your best interest at heart.

The overall idea is to find your people! We can all find our safe place to pursue special interests among nonjudgemental peers. That could mean hiring your local pro-domme (aka a professional dominatrix), going to a munch (a BDSM play party), or exploring the web for your ideal partner. At the end of the day, kinks, fetishes, and fantasies are all pretty normal. The more we talk about them, the more we can normalize them.

Post Views: 551
Previous Article

Where do fetishes come from?

Next Article

What are you willing to wear on ...

0
Shares
  • 0
  • +
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

Related articles More from author

  • Sexuality

    South Yorkshire influencer bombarded with sexual messages from ‘cast fetishists’ after posting pic of broken foot

    April 4, 2021
    By admin
  • Sexuality

    Your sexual assault fetishes are NOT okay

    April 4, 2021
    By admin
  • Sexuality

    Letter: Utah desperately needs better sex ed curriculum

    April 2, 2021
    By admin
  • Sexuality

    Where do fetishes come from?

    April 22, 2021
    By admin
  • Sexuality

    Armie Hammer: Sexual Assault, cannibalism and all other accusations made against the actor

    April 4, 2021
    By admin
  • Sexuality

    Pimp granted full parole

    March 30, 2021
    By admin


AWeber Smart Designer




Popupar Articles

  • Week
  • Month

Week

Sorry. No data so far.

Month

Sorry. No data so far.

Popular on The Le Canadian

  1. Ottawa Winter Fest
  2. Ottawa Market
  3. Salon du Livre d'Ottawa
  4. Ottawa Book Expo
  5. AgoraCosmopolitan
  6. Agora Publishing Consortium
  7. Le Journal Canadien
  8. Dominion: Food News
  9. LeCanadian.com
  10. The Ottawa Star
  11. Capitalistocracy.com
  12. Agora Books Author House
  13. First Nations Press
  14. Toronto Digital Flog Newspaper
  15. The Etiquette Show
  16. Ontario People's Front
  17. COVID-19 unvaccinated singles

Recent Posts

  • How Canadians can access online casinos through mobile phones
  • Comment gérer un retard de vol ?
  • 5 ways sudoku boosts brain health
  • 10 tips to successfully market your law firm
  • 7 Amazing Gifts for Kids Who Like to Cook
  • Make Mortgage Overpayments Work for You
  • Son shares warning for immunocompromised after fully-vaccinated Tampa Bay dad dies from COVID-19
  • Catching Covid-19 after being vaccinated isn’t a myth. It happened to me
  • My COVID Story: “I got COVID after being fully vaccinated”
  • Albertans fully vaccinated for COVID-19 urged to stay cautious during pandemic’s 4th wave

Most Viewed Posts

No Posts found

Visitors

  • Home
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Foodie
  • Headline
  • Health
  • Editorials
  • Lifestyle
  • Sports
  • UFO · Exopolitics
  • City
  • Sexuality
  • Dating