How to find your perfect sex match BEFORE you hit the sheets: Tracey Cox reveals the subtle clues that mean you’ll make an explosive pairing in bed
Ever wished you could tell what sort of lover someone would be before you jump between the sheets?
Well, who says you can’t judge a book by its cover!
Everything from the way we eat, dance, kiss, cuddle and hold hands give vital clues on the type of lover we are.
Our clothes, mannerisms, style, appetite and body language are all symbolic of how we are sexually – and therefore damn good indicators of how we’re likely to behave in bed.
Ready to become a sexual psychic?
Here’s some sneaky ways to spot your perfect sex match.
YOU WANT A SENSUAL, EROTIC LOVER
If your idea of perfect sex focuses on the journey rather than destination orgasm, you want a partner who enjoys long, sensual pre-sex massages, unhurried oral sex sessions and inventive, erotic play.
Find them by looking for someone who has…
Patience: ‘Speed’ is a characteristic that few people take into account when looking for a partner but it’s important. Fast people who are mentally onto the next task before completing the first, might be dynamic lovers but they’re rarely sensual. People who move at a slower pace and pay attention to detail tend to be.
‘Touchable’ clothes and home furnishings: We all have a sensory preference: a way we prefer to communicate. Aural people by what they hear, visual people by what they see and kinesthetic people by what they touch and feel.
Sensual lovers are tactile: they’re primarily kinesthetic and like touchable, sumptuous fabrics and furnishings. If their clothes invite you to touch the fabric or their home décor has lots of contrasting textures (think velvet, fur, leather, shiny), you’re on the right track.
Erotic prints or artwork in their home: A truly erotic lover won’t hide it. They’re the ones with ‘etchings’ from the Kama Sutra or sexy charcoal nudes on their walls.
Eyes that linger on unusual erogenous zones: Ignore the person who blatantly states at the obvious – breasts, crotches, bottoms. Instead, opt for people who admire the nape of your neck, comment on the curve of shoulder, an elegant ankle.
The giveaway sign for an erotic lover: watch them eat
The food-sex connection has been around forever and few would deny the best lovers are hedonists: those who enjoy all the pleasures life has to offer.
Never is this more evident than when someone eats: a good appetite usually means they’ve got a lusty libido to match.
Watch the way someone eats for signs on how they might nibble on your ear, neck or other bits. Do they savour each mouthful of food – or simply inhale the plate?
The wham-bam-thankyou-man demolishes a hamburger in 10 seconds. The only-do-it-on-Sunday-morning-in-the-missionary-position woman pushes around a lettuce leaf and shows little interest in food.
If erotic is what you’re after, you want someone who experiments with different cuisines and isn’t afraid of exotic fare. Bread and butter taste in food = bread and butter sex.
The litmus test, if you want a sensual lover, is if they share their food with you. And don’t just offer you a taste, they choose the yummiest-tastiest bit for you to try – feeding it to you (of course), rather than simply handing over the fork.
YOU WANT A DOMINANT, ADVENTUROUS LOVER
If this ticks your box, you’re after someone who takes charge in the bedroom, enjoys power games and tie-up, challenging positions for intercourse and isn’t scared of role-play.
Be on the lookout for the person who is…
The life and soul of the party: In movies, it’s the introvert who takes off their clothes and sheds inhibitions to become wild in bed. In reality, extroverted people are more liable to be adventurous and open to new things sexually.
They take charge: If you want a dominant lover, find a person who is dominant in other areas of their life as well. The natural leader in a group, who organises people and assumes the ‘boss’ role easily.
They’re stylish dressers: They don’t need to be flamboyantly dressed (though they might be) but if someone is a daring lover, they’re unlikely make boring clothes choices. Go for a brave dresser, who has a varied wardrobe rather than six shirts in the same colour and style.
Imaginative: If they’re up for all sorts behind closed doors, they’re likely to have a rich fantasy life and vivid imagination. Listen for the person telling the best story, who can command and hold an audience.
Someone once said dancing is sex standing up and fully clothed. They were dead right – pay attention to what someone does on the dance floor, and you’ve just had a glimpse into what they’ll get up to in the bedroom.
If you’re looking for a dominant, adventurous lover, move away from anyone who’s self-conscious. If they look like they want the floor to swallow them, they’ll lack the confidence to be an inspired lover.