It comes equipped with all the modern conveniences a family would need to survive a zombie apocalypse — five bedrooms, a loft and bunkie, two kitchens and baths and a sandy beach with a clear view of the water.

But buyers just weren’t biting on the island cottage Matthew Swan is selling, even though it sleeps 26 — dead or alive.

The 63-year-old Mississauga man applied some brains to the matter, reasoning that people are drawn to things that frighten them and things that make them laugh.

So he posted a billboard just north of Brechin, Ont., along Highway 12, advertising his certified zombie-free cottage.

“People are worried about many things these days. One of the last things you want to be worried about is the fact that you buy a cottage for your family and, lo and behold, the place is infected,” said Swan.

“The sale comes with a 30-day, 30-night guarantee. After that the new owner will have to follow their own protocol to ensure the Z-Free status. But I will go over it in detail with them. Plus it comes with a manual,” he promised.

The billboard was enough to wake up interest at Swan’s zombiefree.ca website. There were about 100 hits the first weekend the sign was posted and people in Brechin reported that folks were pulling their cars over to take pictures of the advertisement.

Still, vacation home hunters were walking rather than running to view the 3,100-square-foot retreat on Kahshe Lake in Muskoka.